As If Being Single Wasn’t Bad Enough, Now It’s Bad for Your Health Too

· Vice

I hate to pile on. I know the single life has stretched on longer than you hoped it would, and you were hoping it would end sooner rather than later. But you probably didn’t think it would all end forever, permanently, because you were single. That is the unfortunate news I come bearing today, as the sensationalistic headlines that will surely spring forth from a new study out of the University of Miami practically write themselves.

I see it now, “being single causes cancer.”

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Sensationalistic, but according to one team of researchers, it’s kind of real.

The team from the UM, who published their findings in Cancer Research Communications, analyzed more than 4 million cancer cases across 12 states. They found that adults who have never been married face significantly higher cancer rates compared to people who are or have been married. In men, the cancer rates were 65 percent higher, and in unmarried women, the rates were 85 percent higher.

Being Single Might Be Worse for Your Health Than You Think

Before you rush to the Vegas drive-through wedding chapel at the first sign of a weird mole, you have to keep in mind that cancer doesn’t care about your relationship status. According to the researchers, it’s more about the behaviors and conditions that lead to cancer. Marriage comes with a suite of advantages that all help reduce cancer risk.

Stuff like routines, emotional and psychological support, and someone who loves and cares for you enough to pester you into regularly going to the doctor. Because of all that care and accountability, people who are married are more likely to get regular health screenings and follow medical advice while avoiding certain risk factors like smoking. There’s also the idea that healthier people are just more likely to get married in the first place.

The researchers saw rates of cervical cancer in women who had never been married that were nearly three times higher than those who had been, while rates of anal cancer and never-married men were about five times higher.

It shouldn’t be at all surprising to hear that unmarried men and women were less likely to get breast or prostate cancer screenings, likely because they don’t have access to it because they may not have proper healthcare coverage.

The study isn’t perfect, as it groups all married and formerly married people into a single large group rather than dividing them into, say, married people, divorced people, people who were merely separated, and so on. So there is a certain social context missing, but it still offers a fascinating conclusion: that having a close companion in life keeps you accountable and, in the sappiest way possible, helps you ward off cancer with the power of their love.

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