Jimmy Kimmel blasts Trump amid report of his show ending
· Toronto Sun
Jimmy Kimmel returned to late-night after the summer off with a fresh set of barbs aimed at U.S. President Donald Trump.
His monologue aired hours after Page Six reported that this season of Jimmy Kimmel Live! will be its last. Kimmel didn’t address the rumour and ABC pushed back on the report , calling it “inaccurate” and saying that “any reports about the future of the show at this point are purely speculative.”
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But Kimmel had plenty to say about Trump, who he likened to “a sack of wet tater tots” during his 4,000th show.
“It’s a lot of shows. According to the White House, it’s too many shows,” he said. “This show premiered after the Super Bowl in January 2003. There are those who said we would never last this long. There are even those who used the regulatory might of the FCC to unconstitutionally try to make sure we didn’t last this long.”
Kimmel went on to say “the country was a mess” when he left for summer vacation — and it’s still in trouble.
“We were at war with Iran at that time. Gas prices were high at that time. Inflation was high. Mitch McConnell was either alive or dead — nobody seemed to have any idea which. No one still seems to,” he joked. “I guess they don’t even care anymore because they’ve seemed to have just stopped trying to find out.”
Kimmel then mockingly declared that he’d found common ground with Trump while he was on vacation.
“Donald Trump and I have one thing in common,” Kimmel said. “We both accomplished nothing all summer long … It seems like the only thing he got done was his hair. The leaves are changing colours and so is the president’s head.”
‘Benjamin Glutton’
Kimmel wondered aloud if Trump was having a midlife crisis.
“It’s like he’s aging in reverse. He’s our own Benjamin Glutton,” Kimmel wisecracked. “He’s crazier than ever.”
Kimmel also took on Trump over the president’s desire to rename Lake Ontario to Lake America and rechristen New Mexico as New America.
“As if the people in New Mexico don’t already have enough on their plate, trying to spell the word ‘Albuquerque.’ Now they have to deal with this … The new name kind of backfired because most people heard ‘New America’ and were like, ‘Thank god, cause this current one is not that good,'” Kimmel quipped. “Listen, if there was a new America, we’d all go there immediately.”
Trump’s AI-generated memes, which included him sharing a cartoon image on Truth Social that showed him flattening Prime Minister Mark Carney in a game of hockey, also drew Kimmel’s scorn.
“On Sunday alone, he posted 37 times,” Kimmel said. “Of course, no ridiculous idea would be complete without merch. After cancelling the word ‘Ontario,’ Trump is now selling ‘Lake America’ hats for $55 a pop, which is a small price to pay to let everyone around you know you did not graduate the sixth grade.”
The trade war between America and Canada was also addressed.
“Trump has repeatedly claimed that Canada is ripping us off for decades, and you know, that’s supposed to be his thing,” Kimmel quipped. “He also says Canada is one of the worst countries in the world to deal with … Don’t get me started on Martin Short. It’s really hard to believe how much stupidity they manage to pump out day after day after day. I go away for one summer, he does enough crazy stuff to fill a whole We Didn’t Start the Fire parody song … Sometimes I feel like he waits until I’m on vacation to do the really dumb stuff.”
Trump has yet to sound off on Kimmel’s rebuke, but he did take to Truth Social to clarify his evolving story about where he was on 9/11, including an anecdote he shared in which he claimed firefighters picked him up off the ground close to Ground Zero after the terrorist attacks.
“The Failing New York Magazine wrote a story that I wasn’t down at the World Trade Center after the Tragedy of September 11th, because nobody saw me there,” he wrote. “Well, I don’t think I would be the first thing on anyone’s mind but, I was there, obviously not on the same day as the collapse, but shortly thereafter, with a large group of Construction Workers … Everything I said was exactly accurate … The Fake News doesn’t want to listen, even when they know their story is false. That’s why their approval ratings are at an All Time LOW, but mine are VERY HIGH!”